Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Road Rage Ranting

So I had a nice blog idea all set up.... Then something happened on the way home that changed my mind on tonight's topic. I am on my way to dinner at a local establishment when the quandary began. I am making my attempt to execute a right turn into the parking lot, via the central expressway service road. Unfortunately, a generic blue-haired older woman in a Crown Vic is taking up the entire inlet due to her poor judgment. By this time I had already committed to the turn, and was half way in. Now, as most people know... My truck doesn't lack in size, and at this point, I am stuck. My turn signal is on, but I have no choice but to wait for grandma Jo to get out onto the service road. Now I have the utmost respect for the elderly, so I simply accepted her wave and allowed her to be on her way. However, the woman behind me in her bitch Honda civic had other ideas; here is where the fun begins. She begins by literally LAYING on her horn while I am stuck in my position. This really upsets me, but this doesn't push my internal alarm button, as I give her a simple "sorry, nothing I can do" gesture. This apparently isn't enough for this likely fat, likely poor and likely atheist woman. Now I saw these things about her not really knowing for sure, but anyone who would CONTINUE to blare her horn in this situation must meet one if not all the criterion. At this point she finally found my button, she pressed it, and I reacted- blasting her with an intense middle finger look, coupled with a look around angry face. Old lady finally gets back onto the roadway, and I am allowed to enter the premises. To my surprise, the most likely liberal woman follows me into the parking lot, and parks behind me. She gets out of her car and comes up to my window.By the way, she turns out to be fat, ugly, and obviously unsuccessful at life. She starts by knocking, big mistake. Here is the conversation.
-knocks on window hard-
Her: Lets.....
Me;"First of all, lets start by saying if you touch my car again, i'll get out, pick up your little civic and beat you with it, now. whats your problem?
her:you almost caused a huge accident, and then you gave me the finger!
Me: you deserved more than that, nobody, especially some woman in a civic disrespects me on the roadway like that. Did you not see the reason I couldn't get into the parking lot?
her: well you should have your license taken away for driving like that. Kids like you shouldn't be allowed to drive!
Me;Well I think people as fat as you shouldn't be allowed to drive, so looks like we both have our thoughts.
Her; you disgust me, I am writing down your license number and reporting you to the police!
Me, good, I hope one pulls me over and asks me about it so I can explain what an obnoxious BITCH you are, and how inconsiderate you are, good nite (rolls up window)

Much to my delight as she drove away what did I notice on her bumper? A Kerry/Edwards, 04 sticker. looks like my pegging of her was right on.


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