Saturday, August 13, 2005

Hockey story

All of you waiting patiently for the Native American bit, wait one more day, as I found the greatest piece of audio ever. Can't find a way to get the audio on here, so I will give you the text version... Hockey people, enjoy:

"So our day begins at the golf course, where I've been battling in the Lindy Ruff all day. We call it quits and head into the clubhouse for some Bob Beers and Kelly Buchbergers. After crushing many drinks we decide to hit the local night club to check out some Karl Dykhuis and Joe Nieuwendyk's. I noticed I was getting eyeballed by some Neil Shehee and she had a bit of a Doug Weight problem. A real Jamie McCowan. I thought to myself; I can't stoop this Patrick Marleau. She wanted to take off, and I wasn't sticking around for the ugly lights to come on, so I paid the Rick Tabaracci and hopped into a Thomas Kaberle. I took her back to my Phil Housley where things got a little hot and steamy. She geared down and not to my surprise, her Cary Tacca was a bit Mike Ricci and Jason Wooley. I decided she needed a Bill Barber, pulled out my Donald Brashear's and shaved her down to the Randy Wood. She then proceeded to trim my Harry Snepps. I reacted quickly and popped her Don Cherry, but she was to Ken Dryden, so I flipped her over, grabbed my Hacken Loog and threw it in her Curtis Brown with no Ty Domi. She soon started to complain she was to Marty Mcsorley to go on, so I snapped, quickly showed her the Daryl Sydor, and told her maybe I'll call her Brendan morrow, needless to say she was Grant Fuhrious. The next morning I had the worst Darren Puppa, and I was Valeri Zelepukin all day. Two weeks later, I noticed a little Travis Green coming out of my Mike Babcock so I book an appointment with my doctor to get a Corey Schwab. But this isn't the end of the story, a month later I woke up and saw a little Garth Snow outside, the wetaherman said there was a 30% chance of a Theo Fleury. My car wouldn't start so I had to borrow my roommates. It's not as Chris Osgood as mine, and it takes a Roberto Luongo time to start. When I went into his room to get the keys there was that same Rick Brodsky with my roomate. She was sucking on his Mike Peca while Esa Tikkanen his temperature with her finger. I said Buddy, don't do it, that Butch Goering has the fans clapping, I think she picked it up in Paul Kariya. But he wouldn't listen to Marty Reasoner, so I said keep up the Manny Legace.

Tommorow: Native Americans.. what exactly will I say about them??????


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