Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Gyminutes

Back by popular demand I give you, Gyminutes.

Lesbians. Wow, There is nothing I hate more than lesbians. I know what men are thinking at this point; "But Jay Why, haven't you seen the movie "Assaconda" where those two chicks are goin at it...etc." My answer to you is, when in real life are lesbians good looking? I have done some unscientific research to find out that only 1% of lesbians would be considered "hot" by most average standards. With this stat in mind, I digress, giving you "two fat lesbian women sporting buzz cuts and TIGHT WORKOUT GEAR." If there is anything worse than the scene two nights ago at the gym, I don't know what it could be. A dyke two-pack doing legs right next to me. They promptly spot each other inappropriately, using 'hand on glute and inner thigh' methods, then segue directly into the 'pointing out good looking girls in the gym' phase. I do what I can to avoid confrontation (ha), so I look left and right, frantically attempting another male gym goer with which to make 'i feel ya bro' eye contact. You know, when you hear or see something absurd, so you look around to make that eye contact with someone else who agrees with you re: the absurdity of the situation. I found it in a local black man, we made eye contact, I was able to read him perfectly as his facial expression clearly stated: "damn, fool, that shit is whack." I quickly gave him a "meet me over by the water fountain so we can discuss this matter further" look.. unfortunately I must not have conveyed my look well enough, because regarding the lesbian circumstance, he felt as though my look actually was a "hey, I like their style, what say we go into the bath house and engage in a little of that ourselves" look. he was disgusted, so I was able to catch him during a leg set later, and after he shouted "shit fool, I ain't no ass pirate." I was finally able to clear the air and let him know that I, too was put off by the abundance of "rug indulgers" in our gym. Well anyways, I was able to make my way over to the free weights away from them, but no sooner than I start my set of shoulders, wouldn't you know, Johnny Ass-Clown is there to step directly in front of my mirror path and start his own set of throwing 10 lb weights around in an un-orderly fashion. Well I'm not gonna lie, I had just about had it at this point. I walk over to my new Afro-American acquaintance and, so Mr. Clown can hear, belt out the following: "I feel ya man, I get away from those two 'lick-her' licensees and I get over hear and this jokeshow gets right in my way." Ass-Clown hears this, but he is a cocksucker, so naturally he exits stage left and Jamal and I have our area to ourselves again.

Coming soon, more Gyminutes, and a 3 part series on women, including all the hot topics; feminists, driving, cell phone usage, and military.... So as to not offend my readers that lack a y chromosome, please be aware that no one is safe on my blog, because I am writing about these certain topics DOES NOT mean I will be ripping into them, Keep an eye on the blog to see where I stand on these controversial issues.. Some of my stances may surprise you!

1 Comments:

Blogger lucyalexander48657966 said...

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========Latest Profile==========
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================================

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===============
"BREAKING NEWS"
===============

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18:39  

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