Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Ranger wrap up/rooting rules

the popular segment "tv tidbits will return TOMMOROW
# 4 on tv list will have to wait, as I have to many July 4th Ranger notes:
My boys were able to pull off the 9th inning comeback; much to the dismay of the crowd at Ameriquest Field. Yes, it seemed as if I had taken a wrong turn on I-30 and ended up at Fenway Park. The second I stepped from my truck, it started; "lets go sox" was being chanted by a group that sounded no more like New Englanders than Kenny Chesney. Everywhere I looked was the same; the traditional sell-out Dallas/Fort Worth sports fan was out in full force on this night. Not that I didn't expect it, coupling the worst group of fans in the United States with the team that boasts the highest number of pseudo fans in sports was sure to be a volatile mixture. The Red Sox fake fans have certainly grown in number in the past year. The North East medai bias, the world championship win, and the abundance of all-American/white/good-looking players are just some of the reasons this team is so popular. But please, as I pointed out via screaming to the failure next to me, do not pretend to be a die-hard member of Redsox Nation. The Redsox do have some of the best fans in sports, and they don't have any room for you, or your buddy that lives across from you at your home in Colleyville. if real Sox fans had a chance, they would call you a "faayget" for trying to pretend you are a part of the proud Redsox heritage. You are the reason I savored this Ranger victory oh so much more (as I let many of you know upon exiting the stadium). For this reason, I have compiled the following "Rules for Team Allegiance."

1. You must first show allegience to the team that plays in your city, or state.
(If more than one team in your city/state, it may be deemed acceptable to choose between them. i.e. me choosing the Spurs over the Mavericks).
2. If no teams in your city/state, you must now choose to follow the team closest to your region.(must be within reason. i.e. person from Oregon roots for Seattle Seahawks
3.roots Exception- One may be allowed to root for a team playing in a city/ state from which that fan is originally from-(i.e. Insurance salesman from Cleveland moves to Denver, he can now root for both the Rockies and the Indians. Exception to the exception- the only time this man can't root for his Indians is at a Rockies home game vs the Indians(doesnt happen, but go with it).... he is now a Denverite, and must support the team playing in his new city, he musn't go with his Indians gear, and scream loudly so as to let everyone at Coors Field know that yes, he is from Cleveland originally.)
4. Dad exemption- I don't care if your dad grew up in NYC if now you live in San Diego; you cant root for the Yankees. (exception, your dad played for the Yankees, now you can root for them.
5. Race rule- you may in fact root for a team solely because of race, color, nationality, or creed.(i.e. black person rooting fr the Pistons or Falcons, or the '00 Edmonton Oilers, or the Williams sisters. White man rooting for the Rangers, Mavericks, or Patriots, or against the Williams sisters. A 'latino' rooting for the Mets, a religious man rooting against Lance Armstrong, etc.)
6.college rule- can root only for school at which you graduated. if you attended, without graduating, you are not elidgable. (exception: catholics can root for Notre Dame, and Mormans for BYU).

quick note: On the way home from the game I witnessed a tragedy that was the picture of irony: an Ice Cream truck burst into flame.


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