Monday, May 23, 2005

PGA minutes

I attended the Bank of America Colonial this weekend, making the following observations:

Black people look odd in golf attire- I've had this theory for a long time, and It was proven again this weekend. Polo's and khaki's just aren't their thing-nothing against them, Baggy jeans and throw backs look equally grotesque on white folk.

Most golf fans attempt to live out their dreams vicariously through pro golfers- Look, golf fans, just because every weekend you head out to Ridgeview Ranch and slice your Pro V-1's into the trees doesn't give you the right to give Kenny Perry putting tips. You DO NOT share a common bond with him simply because you have played a round or two of golf. DO NOT attempt to analyze a read Scott Verplank is making- You don't know anything about golf. And Don't try to tell Stuart Appleby the way that putt has been breaking for the players beforehand. He isn't listening to you because you are a jackass. Probably sporting your generic "ping" hat, and generic golf polo, wanting to look like you play a little. He is also not listening to you because he is a PRO GOLFER, and you are a worthless fan. What you are trying to do wiuld be the equivalent of a fan yelling "Hey Tom(first name basis is key), Run Right pro 29 tight end load!" Tom is the QB, and Charlie Weis is the offensive coordinator for a reason, to call plays- You are in the stands/ gallery because you suck. You obviously aren't as good as these guys, so quit trying to tell them how to play. And also- get off of their D's! why do you have to act like they are royalty. They aren't paying attention to you when you say "nice bird, Jay." That nod of the head is simply habit, it comes naturally, it isn't because you are firing them up for the next hole. a simple "nice shot" and other generic compliments could be in order, but nothing personal. i.e. first names, you DO NOT KNOW THESE GUYS- stop calling them by first name.

When its 110 degrees, just spectating golf is rough, so props to everyone that even finished this weekend at Colonial

Finally, my new favorite golfer is Hunter Mahan. The Keller native is 22, attended Oklahoma State, and has a great all around look going on. btw, his parents live in Plano,I know this because Hunter's gallery consisted of my group and his mother- it was easy to get to know her.


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