Sunday, May 29, 2005

Graduation Notes

I Recently attended the graduation for Grand prairie High School- Class of 2005. Following the event, I was able to make the following observations:
They should change the name of Grand Prairie's graduation from "graduation" to "The only time that 98% of these kids will ever be recognized for anything other than wastes of life."
Rain is sweet, but not when you have to walk long distances, then it just becomes a fucking nuisance.
Now, the notes on graduation, mind you are simply about THIS graduation, and not a generalization about all.
Memo to guests of graduates: Chill the 'F' out. We all know you are pumped that Juan actually graduated, but so did almost every other f-ing student. Honestly, stop being so damn fired up about the graduation. There is no need for yelling, screaming, and carrying on;after all, your failure son isn't going to amount to anything other than caddying for me when I play a round at Tour 18 anyways.
Memo to most black, and a good deal of white graduates: Do not walk across the stage as though you are hard- you are wearing a gown, and a hat that is better suited on your lap for use as a hard writing surface than on your head. Congratulations, you graduated, no need for you to walk across the stage as though you were 50 cent in the music video for "Candy Shop."
Its great when your family member is valedictorian, because she not only talks first, she is also introduced first to grab her diploma, allowing you to leave somewhat early.
There are more Mexican people in Grand Prairie than in Cancun
It can not be fair that people in that school are counted with the same grade point average as those from Plano or Highland Park. The point is, students from Grand Prarie should be on a different scale, adapted for their undoubtedly bush league curriculum. I honestly could go on with this for a while-and believe me, I will- in "GPHS graduation, part deux" tommorow


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